Most people put on a front when out in the open air with fellow members of their species. A masque of sorts, a means to hide their humanity from the people who scorn their inherent traits. Some people don't, some people feel uneasy with the shackles society places on their habits.
I hate blatant displays of the human condition. I hate the slap of an opening jaw as a moron shovels another wodge of food into an orifice still caked in pulp. I hate the way fat people breathe like straining pistons whilst bending to lick ketchup from their thigh. I hate people who drink feverishly in constant 20 second intervals, replacing the lid after every re-pressurising smack of the suffocated bottle.
I hate the slack-throats, with their ravenous thirst and fluid capacity culminating to the cataclysmic gwilp of compressed air and drink. The people who breathe whilst drinking too, their lips glued to the plastic neck like a docked octopus and the whoooom as they release resounds like a demented pan-pipe. I hate it all.
In a loud room the only things I hear are the disgusting beast-recalling squelches of a creature with no manners, no self-awareness and most importantly no come-back for when I say:
"Excuse me, I was two streets down when I heard you chewing. A friend of mine brushes his teeth for audio books, he could probably set you up for some exaggerated eating scenes. I could give him a call if you're interested"
They probably don't even realise, they'll live a spoon-biting life of ignorance as people like me seethe.
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Apparently I eat like a pig, since my girlfriend makes sure she reminds me every time I eat. I never notice this. Probably because I'm eating.
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