So-Solid

There's a nest of ketmongs not far from where I live. They venture out onto the streets I traverse only to talk loudly to each other about how the 12th minute feels 'like you're an internal organ'. Sometimes they're near-comatose on the pavement, with their loose twitches summoning a new, more rambunctious sound to their collection of feckless drivel.


drugs are generally hilarious.

Jiggy beast.

I know enough about low budget porn to be able to differentiate between low budget porn, and budgetless smut that's been squared to bollocks on a 1.0 megapixel phone camera. I find the latter far more intriguing as there is still a sizable market for it.

Production values and bloimbos drenched in spray-on tan are nothing compared to spelling mistakes on websites and a crushed can of vimto's appearance in 5 pictures of a 7 shot barely-legal-hot-teen-sexy-amateur photoshoot.

Most no-budget porn businesses are run out of shoe boxes, beached caravans and the former Yugoslavia.

See if you can spot potential bookmark material in the 'access free also with this amaziong offer' selection on the scummiest site you can find.

My favourite word is: apricot.

Fashion is out of hand. I give it 3 months before the latest tawdry example of the rap generation sports a lumberjack shirt and a 'tickle me elmo' hanging from a necklace made of fluorescent shoelaces...only to get worshiped for his vision.

Nowadays anyone who isn't dressing like a 1950's embodiment of their dad, or isn't wearing a hot-pink back-pack with a pop-art t-shirt in the name of fashion...

Is a goth, a German on holiday somewhere, or both God forbid.

Pime taradox

The clocks decided to go forward without telling me. I've been an hour behind everyone else all shitting day. My friend and I were planning a brief Tête à Tête, a conversation between mouthfuls of meatball marinara and sprite. We were due to meet at around 2ish, because we'd both agreed that 2ish sounded 'good' and that we would have been able to put our regular sunday tasks to rest by that time.

1pm rolls around and I get ear-raped by the sounds of traffic and a voice down the phone. My friend was wondering where I was...

I told him i was still at home, still clad in make-up and torn stockings, sitting awkwardly on account of the garden gnome I was using as a prostate stimulant. I thought I still had an hour and that my friend had gone off too early and decided to blame it on someone else - something for which he is known. Turns out I was wrong, and I got verbally buggered for not meeting him.

I'm still at home now. I'm taking a break from resetting my time pieces, I was stuck on a watch I've had since I was 15. Resetting old watches is like using your friends computer for the first time, it makes no sense at all, I'm just waiting for someone to materialise and shout at me for breaking it because the 'mode' button masquerades as the 'set' button, but only when you push the fucker hard enough.

I give in.

I was also due to have my first Killzone 2 clan match today but it was cancelled.

arse.

OMFGZ MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS DA BEST

"90% of teenagers have turned to rap... the other 10% still listen to real music"
- some fartskull on 'real music'

So why is it when I search for anything game related on youtube, I get Evanescence overdubs on FMV's from the final fantasy series, Rob Zombie or metallica providing the backing track for sniping montages...or the grunting squeaks of some post-emo trashcore shite all over just about any gaming video that isn't one of the above?

I don't search for specific scenes from films anymore, I know they've all been devalued by the guff some greasy haired eye-liner fag has playing over the top.

Don't get me wrong, I think rap and hip-hop is shit too, but it's little statements like the one I quoted above that make me rejoice. I live in a world populated by self-righteous, misinformed arseholes, and I'm not too proud to announce that by typing this entry, i have inadvertently become one as well.