The Live®! spot: issue 1.

Controversy this week as A.J. McLean, boy of former boy band Backstreet boys announced on his website that he'd be retiring from the music industry after learning that the anti-rabies medication he has been taking is 'changing him'.


McLean, far-right performing with the rest of band 'new kids on the block' demonstrating the demented gurn of a man gone to shit.

McLean (real name 'Arnold Johan Heimenschitz') 45, contracted rabies 8 years ago after having engaged in bestial congress with a roadie at a show for the marsupial people of Guava. McLean hid the condition for five years, citing a reemergence of his childhood dyslexia as the cause of his new-at-the-time animalistic behaviour. His parents, Eukele and Ulf Heimenschitz refused to comment on their son's condition, but we heard them talking to family friends whilst spying on their kitchen:

"It wasn't until he passed up dinner in favour of chewing a piece of furniture. That's when we knew something was wrong."

Former band mate Justin Timberlake spoke at the height of McLean's transformation 3 years ago: "It wasn't a secret to us, y'know? me and the boys knew something was up, we'd been tight for years. N*Sync was more than just a manufacturment - we was family. A.J. was like my second cousin, we knew each other more than we knew ourselves, yo. I knew he was a different man after Guava, it wasn't just the dehydration either, he smelt a bit like wet dog, so we took him to the vet."

It was that very vet that recommended that McLean visit a doctor. The doctor in this case being Dr. Mark Habijjenyeh, head of the 'Characterising Rabies As a Problem and Funding Advanced Research into Treatments' group, or C.R.A.P.F.A.R.T. Habijjenyeh prescribed Mclean with a revoltionary, and previously untested drug known as 'Poblace'.

After several successful tours, and an album of cover songs that performed moderately well in the former Yugoslavia, Mclean was thought to be on the mend. It wasn't until last Tuesday, that whilst arriving at a Farscape convention in Bourbon, Tennessee, McLean partook in one his most mortifying displays of vulnerability yet, as he fell stupidly from a 3-inch curb and vomited what appeared to be a collection of curious pills lodged in a partially digested kebab. A spokesman for Mclean says that he's had to do all of the star's talking, as McLean can only "(talk) gibberish about polygon density and ears".

Close family friend Jarvis Cocker agreed to do an interview, but upon arriving refused to comment immediately. After his 13th consecutive cigarette, however, Cocker sneered and belched something incomprehensible before pandering out of the room like a eunuch on smack.

While it wouldn't be the first time a pop-star has gone off the rails and blamed it on dodgy meds, It'll be the first time it's happened at a Farscape convention. If nothing else, A.J's current social demise merely highlights with a great poignancy the beast that resides in all of us.

Following this story, Dr. Habijjenyeh stated that Mclean's anomalous behaviour was due to what he called a 'queer batch' of Poblace, and that everything should be okay now. After being questioned as to the future of McLean, Habijjenyeh merely said that "While there are no plans at present to cure the disease, we are looking into more preventative measures."





All pictures and names owned by their respective things. We at The Live®! spot, namely I, Rogero, can not be held responsible for any misinterpretations that may occur as a result of reading the above lies.